Lives Of Values Endured LOVE
by LilyJadeth
Summary: Despite the lies Light tells her every day, Misa still can't help loving him. Matsuda serves as the only human source of comfort left.


**dn_contest prompt: Love**. If you'll notice, the title spells out L.O.V.E. 3

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Light was a good actor. I knew this. And yet I still fell for him, even when I could never be certain if the feelings he told me he had for me were the truth. Lies were his forté.

Did he really love me, or was every embrace, every kiss, every word whispered in my ear... were they all lies?

I was so unbelievably ecstatic when he said we should move in together. It gave me a small spark of hope, that maybe he did have some feelings for me after all. Light smiled at me, that smile that I now know was a mask the entire time, and told me everything was going just as planned. I studied him when any chance permitted. He was so handsome: perfect brown hair, darker matching eyes that captivated me, and when I hugged him tightly after a long day of work it seemed that our bodies were a perfect fit. My love, my life, my everything.

But I knew my love for Light was unrequited. I found this out much too late, and cursed myself for being so naïve, so stupid. Of course he was using me — I'd told him to, hadn't I? He'd rarely come home anymore, and when he did the look in his eyes was distant and nonresponsive. He'd wave me away and order me to do this or that, as if I were some secretary or office assistant. I would always do what he asked, no question. Sadly, there seemed to be lots of time to work but mere moments when we could be alone together. It made me wonder if he was busy or just avoiding me.

I went to visit Matsuda once in a while, and we'd talk about my relationship with Light. I needed consoling, a shoulder to cry on, someone to tell me that Light loved me — he was just busy.

_"Here."_

A cup of cocoa was passed in front of me, waking me up before any of the caffeine had even entered my system. Thanking him quietly, I took it delicately and cradled the smooth warmth in my hands. The sofa shifted as Matsuda sat down beside me. I took a marshmallow out and set it on the saucer so it wouldn't melt.

I stared into the drink as the steam poured up into my face. "His eyes are cold."

"Hm?" Matsuda was in the middle of drinking from his coffee cup.

I set the cocoa on the table and wrapped my arms around my knees. "Every time he looks at me, his eyes are cold. He comes home maybe twice a week, and it's like he's not even happy to see me. I don't know what to do," I whispered meekly. I hid my face, hoping Matsuda couldn't see the forming tears, and my voice was muffled. I felt Matsuda scoot closer and put an arm over my shoulders.

"Maybe he's just tired? We have been pretty occupied lately."

I sniffled and rubbed my eyes dry, not caring about the makeup I smudged. "He doesn't seem tired, though. Just... off." Matsuda remained silent and petted my shoulder. "He's not having an affair, is he?!" I cried suddenly, and Matsuda jumped, startled by my sudden outburst.

"Ah..." he stammered, drinking more coffee in order to stall for time.

"He is, isn't he?!" I sat on my knees and leaned over. "With who?! How long?!" My eyes flamed up with rage. Where was my Death Note? I'll show that bitch not to mess with my fiancé!

"It's not what you think, MisaMisa!"

I clung to his shirt, the tears coming faster. "I knew it, I knew it!"

Matsuda set down his coffee cup before it spilled and set his hands on my shoulders. "It's only for the case," he reassured me. "Light needs Takada to be a double-agent for Kira, okay?"

I remembered the name. Takada. I imagined her crawling all over Light, and the mental picture stuck. That whore. But I calmed down and wrapped my arms around him. Matsuda tensed and patted my head.

"Thank you, Matsu." I beamed at him. "I feel a bit better now."

Matsuda smiled back at me. "Glad I could help," he said a bit nervously.

No one told me the details of what happened at the Yellow Box Warehouse. Matsuda started to avoid me, his eyes swimming with the guilt of a murderer.

And when I found out that Light was dead, a hole was wrenched through my heart.

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